It is a common notion among several twentyish Indian boys that “It is
the guy who lose out in love, and the girl usually marries a well
settled man (read NRI)”. But when I shared the same statement with my
girl friends they all disagreed in unison.
So who is right?
Well I think both of them are right in their own way.
Let me explain:
Everyone heard of the title ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’, so how do Mars and Venus think in this matter:
When a guy chooses a girl to settle down, he has a very basic list of
requirements. If the girl is good looking (FIRST priority), little
sensible, and most important, can gel-well with the boy’s family, then
he will decide to settle down with her for sure.
But of course like every other decision in a girl’s life, even this
decision, of choosing a boy is thought over a million times. She gauges
various options and thinks from all possible and impossible angles. Let
me illustrate this with an example.
There lived a beautiful girl, Siri, who has three friends, Rahul, Nikhil
and Venkat. Siri is friends with all the three guys and she knows that
she is special to all of them. In her mind she is always gauging all
three with one another.
Rahul is that handsome, outgoing guy who gifts her chocolates and
flowers almost every week. Time flies when talking to him and he is
always devoted to her, taking Siri out on long drives and getting lot of
beautiful, irresistible gifts. Of course she enjoys all the attention,
but is a little hesitant deep inside that he might ultimately propose to
her and she has not yet decided on the same.
The whole world thinks Rahul and Siri are a couple and may be Siri will
marry Rahul, but Siri is not so sure. She knows life with Rahul is fun,
but she is not really sure if she wants to settle down with him. He is
not a responsible guy, did not even start looking for the job and they
have only three more months to graduate. Without settlement she is not
so sure if she can marry him nor is she sure about the opinion of her
parents on Rahul.
Nikhil on the other hand takes good care of her; he does not look
striking but is quite good looking. They spend some time together
chatting and catch up each other on phone. He even gifted her beautiful
Fasttrack watch on her birthday. Siri is sure Nikhil is going to find a
good job and there is a fair chance of her parents accepting this
choice.
Venkat on the other hand is decent looking, who is dressed up in a very
formal way, even to collage. She knows he likes her, though they never
went out, but caught up with each other in collage canteen quite a few
times and had a friendly chat regularly online and she calls him
especially before exams. Venkat is quite intelligent and serious about
his career. He already has a job offer in his hand. Siri is quite sure
he is going to settle down in a great job but what she is not sure, is,
will life be fun with him.
Siri is constantly thinking about all these issues. She is not sure whom
to choose, but she knows she has to make a decision as her parents will
start asking her to get married sooner. She discusses with her best
girl friends, they talk about it for hours, and still do not reach a
conclusion.
She spends equal time with all the three guys only with the intension of
taking a decision, but to the outside world it definitely looks like
she is passing time with THREE guys and taking advantage of their
inclination towards her.
I am not taking a stand with the girl, all I am saying is it is the
girl’s thought process which works that way. We simply cannot make a
decision quickly as in, what to wear to work, which shade of lipstick
goes with that blue color dress, or for that matter to order pasta or
lasagna for entrée. It is how our brain works, we are not indecisive,
but just not sure :).
